Happy Valentine’s Day!!!! I will spend today working, hanging out with my family, giving my wife the coolest gift I have every thought up (no spoilers, she reads this) making more self portraits, and maybe watching all the Valentine’s episodes of FRIENDS. I was trying to decide on my content for this week, and started a list and I decided that I would tell you something I flatly refuse to photograph: weddings. I will happily make portraits for the two of you, I will go all sneaky snake and get the proposal if you want. I will help you make engagement photos! However, I will not photograph your wedding. What follows is just my opinion.
1. Weddings are way overdone to begin with.
I could rant about this all day. When people tell me “Weddings are a billion dollar a year industry,” like that means anything, I want to scream. People’s willingness to spend money on something does not validate it, people have made the Kardashians rich. Weddings have turned into a mess where too many people get involved, and far too many people other than the two getting married have an opinion on what should be happening. Everyone gets into a knot and an absolute fortune goes down the tubes for what amounts to a very stressful party. Why is all of this happening? Well, if you ask me…
2. Weddings have lost most of their cultural meaning.
I am not anti marriage. I am married. I like people to be happy. However, these rights and rituals which used to exist for a reason! In some places, they still do, but here in America we have created…something else. There are places in the world where they celebrate a union partly because “It is almost time for it to rain, and soon the grass will be back, let us share food!” I think that has some meaning. However, here we have created “the special day” and everyone and their brother needs to be involved. Friendships die over bridesmaid dresses, families declare war over seating charts, and “did you hear what such and such did with an usher for attention?” We have a lot of special days here, don’t we?
3. This monster of a cultural mishap sets people up for failure.
Part of the reason everyone makes so much out of it is because they have been led to believe it is supposed to be the happiest day of their lives. What the hell? I love my wife, and I love being married to her, but I can tell you now about some days she and I have shared that were better than the wedding. We have been to Fenway park together, we have been to New York City together, THE BIRTH OF OUR SONS!?!?! It is my reasoning that if you think the wedding is to be the “Most special day of your lives,” it does not say a lot for the forever you are supposedly committing to. My great grandparents were together until my great grandfather passed away (fifty years I think) and their wedding story amounts to having to go and tell my great great grandfather…
4. Weddings can be lawsuit magnets.
I have not even done one. How do I know this you ask? Well, I read the blogs of other photographers. I thought they were kidding. They were not. When I went to get the insurance for my business, they asked me all sorts of questions that affected my premiums: Does your business have a safe? Do you ever store cameras in your car? Do you have employees? Do they drive the car? Do you intend to photograph weddings? Read that again. My insurance would have cost more had I said yes.
Why are weddings such trouble. Firstly, I think a lot of people do not understand that you get what you pay for. If you pay 200$ for a photographer and show them a photo in a magazine, understand that the magazine spent more to make that than you are paying for the whole wedding. People get sued when the client’s expectations are not met. Now, I can say that there are extremely unreasonable clients out there. However, we must also consider that there are people being sued because they tried to take on the work of a wedding photographer and could not deliver. This leads to my final and the most important point. I do not shoot weddings because I am not a wedding photographer, and I would be doing a disservice to my client and my industry.
5. Actual photography advice, your wedding photographer should specialize in weddings and be connected to the local wedding industry.
My feelings on weddings aside, this is how you get the best photography for your wedding. Hire a wedding photographer. This does not simply mean you hired a photographer for your wedding. You hired a specialist. I am not that guy. I move every two or three years, I do not know the caterers, the dress makers, the videographers, DJs, stylists, bakers, venues, and florists. A good wedding photographer is a part of the community not just by being from there, but they know the other professionals who work in weddings.
I love to make portraits, and I love to photograph things that move me. I made it abundantly clear that is not a wedding. I do not go to bed thinking about weddings, and I do not think about working in weddings while my mind wanders. That is the kind of pro you want. Again, I love to see people happy and help capture their moment. One of my favorite photography stories is when I got to photograph a proposal…accidentally. 
My youngest son and I were at the botanical garden in San Antonio and without knowing it we had wandered into an area with only one way in and out, and the bushes were filled with people waiting for this couple who were coming down the walkway. It was a surprise proposal and they were there to capture it. They filled me in, but it was too late, if we left in a hurry, we might make the young lady think there were bees or something down there. All we could do was keep doing what we had been and stay out of the shot. It was awesome…despite my only camera being an antique with a 50mm.
What I will offer you, if you have come to me, is a recommendation of the local professionals in the area! I will help you evaluate their portfolios and give you the most valuable advice of all, go with a wedding pro.
If you are going to go through all the work that is a wedding, get a real pro. Someone who loves that wedding as much as you do, who lives for weddings. They have the crew, the equipment, the know how, and most importantly, the will to make the day as special as you want it to be. I will happily be in the audience (with neither cell phone or camera) but for photography, get a wedding photographer. I hope all of you have a happy Valentine’s day!
Brandon Bledsoe
Nostalgic Vanity Photography
931-436-4105
http://www.nostalgicvanityphotography.com
@nostalgic_vanity
Nostalgic Vanity Photography 